A reflexion upon marriage.
The question has been raised to me recently. What is marriage?
As a married man, I guess I'm well placed to try and answer the question.
I have read opinions like: marriage is an achievement, marriage is romance, marriage is commitment, marriage is a self-giving sacrifice.
First, I must say that marriage isn't or shouldn't be a sacrifice. You're not missing out on anything by marrying the person you love, if you do, maybe you shouldn't get married to this person. I do not see my married life as a sacrifice. It is my (our mutual) choice, plain and simple.
Second, marriage is romance at the wedding or when you pop the question. Or some times here and there. Love is not the equivalent of romance. Romance isn't very deep. To me, romance is everything you see, the top of the iceberg. But love, that is the whole package. The history, the madness, the flaws. The plans for the future whether they are hopes and dreams or meticulous calculations for whatever will or should happen (yes, planning your life is part of marriage).
I strongly believe that marriage isn't an achievement in itself. You don't get married as you graduate, or pass your driving test. Today, marriage makes some people whole, but not everybody is built that way, they don't all want or need to marry. Others, maybe fewer than before, feel that it is part of their life with their partner. For whatever reason.
My reason is the commitment. By saying "I do" to my dear wife, I mostly meant "I commit to you". I will be there, faithful because that's the way you and I see things, through whatever life will bring to us. For some, it might be seen as a contract, on obligation. I see marriage as a way to forge a commitment, to seal whatever my wife and I are living. To put cement under our feet and build our lives together. With every little things that everyday life brings to us. Joy, sadness, anger, fun, love, romance. Both easy and difficult at the same time, just as life truly is, in the end.
To my wife, whom I love.